I Tell Albert

by storyofalice

Saturday evening, on my way home, I received a text from Albert: ‘Can’t wait to cuddle up with you later! xxx’. Albert had been away for a few days, staying with his parents, and I assumed, because of our arrangement, that he might try to get laid. The arrangement was that we were both free to sleep with others, as long as we used protection and didn’t bring anyone home.

I got home, took a long bath, and climbed to bed. I was almost asleep when Albert walked in with a smile and a swagger.

Are you stoned, baby?

Very! It’s SO good to see you, I missed you! I know it’s only been a few days, but it feels like it’s been so long.

Before he kissed me, I blurted out: Albert, I have to tell you something.

Go on.

I slept with someone.

Sensing my rush of emotions, he sat next to me on the bed and took my hand.

Shh, that’s ok, sweetie, I still love you. Who was it?

That boy from the band? But it didn’t mean anything and I didn’t even want to and I realised how lucky I’ve been to have you in my life for so long. I mean, he wasn’t bad, but he wasn’t good either, just an ordinary boy. You’re something else, baby, you’re in a completely different category.

You flatterer.

It’s all true though!

Well, I, on the other hand, have been on some different adventures, he said seriously.

My heart sank as I prepared myself to hear that he slept with someone else, but, instead, he took a Kinder Egg out of his pocket. When we’d been away for Easter, he saw how excited I got to find a cute little frog in one of them, and he’s helping me hunt for similarly adorable toys. I started sniffling. How can I be so mean?

It’s ok, it’s ok, he said. I still love you. You know what they say, it’s unconditional.

He did, however, wrap himself tight in his blanket and didn’t want to cuddle up.

Does this mean that you’ll never sleep with me again?

I just need a few days, ok?

We spent the rest of the night chatting about his plans for the summer – how he was going to travel loads and grow his vegetables back at his parents’ farm.

I woke up next morning with a sinking feeling. I looked at Albert, and he was sulking with his eyes shut tight, pretending he was asleep. Oh no, I said to myself.

Are you ok, baby?

No answer.

Are you mad at me? I thought you were ok last night… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I hurt you.

Will Albert and I get over this? Can we?