Lovely, Beautiful,Versatile, Inspiring, Sunshiny Blog
(with soundtrack – any string of epithets such as the one in the title reminds me of The Pussycat Song)
A few of you lovely bloggers nominated this story for awards. Thank you guys so much for your readership and your love. I feel appreciated and understood, which is another way of saying I feel loved. Sarah Alice nominated me for the Beautiful Blogger Award; Ice at Better than Yesterday nominated me for the Lovely Blog Award; Dating Bitch at the Online Dating Journal nominated me for the Versatile Blog Award; Other from Being Her, The Other Woman nominated me for the Sunshine Blogger Award; and the lovely Thirty Something from Misadventures in Cleveland Dating nominated me for a Very Inspiring Blogger Award.
Accepting these awards involve me telling you some things about me you didn’t know before. Here they are. Keeping in line with the nature of the blog, I tried to make them topical.
1. I was three when I had my first boyfriend. We used to hold hands, hide together, kiss on the cheeks and make plans to get hitched. His name was Chubby Chris. He had freckles, a round little face, and curls. He grew up into a tall, dark and handsome metal-head, photographer, gentleman. He called me once when we were both sixteen, probably wanting to ask me out, but I was seeing someone else. Last time I saw him, in our mid-twenties, he had these gorgeous, almond-shaped black eyes, and a lean, strong, muscular body. Oh, how I wish I remembered where I put his business card.
2. I was four when I discovered how to give myself pleasure. It was a sunny summer day and I could hear my friends playing outside, but I was in bed with a fever, feeling hot under the blanket, so I stuck one leg out. I remember feeling warm and fuzzy and somewhat dizzy, in a pleasant way. I started rocking gently against it. The rest is history.
3. I was ten when I had one of the first of many crushes. His name was Robert and he was a judo player. He had golden skin and liquid green eyes with long, dark eyelashes, and he was quiet and very thin. I was too shy to talk to him, so I befriended Andrew, his friend, instead. Andrew and I teased each other mercilessly and stole each other’s erasers. Andrew, naturally, developed a crush on me. A few years later, I used to skip classes to watch old films at the local art house cinema. One morning, there were only two people in the audience, Andrew and I. I hadn’t seen him in years, and, all of a sudden, he looked cool. He was planning to become a film director, but that’s the last time I heard of him.
4. The first porn I’ve ever watched was Nana and I was too young to comprehend what was going on. I remember feeling aroused to see Katya Berger naked, I remember thinking she was beautiful, I remember some kind of chase and hunt, but I didn’t understand what the prize was.
5. I was in love with my best friend in high school. She was playful and cruel, always said what she thought and did whatever she damn pleased. She was beautiful and free, with her fiery eyes, thin lips, tiny waist, and breasts just a little bigger than mine. We were very affectionate and we hugged and cuddled and saw each other naked a lot, but nothing more happened between us. I can still remember her smell.
6. My first ‘real’ boyfriend had a friend who was sexy and playful and more beautiful than a girl. They often joked about the sexual tension between them, and Jim was so beautiful, so feline, that he quickly entered my dreams and inhabited them for years. We only kissed once, in the boys’ bathroom at his school. He pushed me against the wall, ran his fingers through my hair, and put his fingers in my mouth, my locks still wrapped around them. I wanted him to like me so much it hurt.
7. I lost my virginity to a man who thought the end of the world was near, and that he was the messenger of doom. He was a textbook case of schizophrenia, interested in mystics, gnostics and the occult. I envied his library, but his smell made me feel uncomfortable. We were never in love.
8. I dated a sculptor when I was eighteen. He had a massive beard and a minor drinking problem. He said I looked more like myself naked than with my clothes on, and he liked to compare me to a Modigliani. One of his friends once asked me: ‘what is it like to be so beautiful?’ and he meant it. I had little idea of how men saw me till then.
9. I kissed a boy in a library once. We were exchange students, a week before it was time to go back home. I met him at a party, months before, and I kept thinking about him, his voice, his lips, the way he leaned towards me. His name was Vincent, he spoke a few languages and he played a few different instruments, he liked Manu Chao and Dogma, and had this way of looking at me with his ember eyes, as if he wanted to melt me from within. That evening, in the library, there was a moment of silence. ‘Why you do you look at me like that?’, I asked, softly. ‘What do you mean?’ ‘As if you want to kiss me’. ‘How do you know I want to kiss you?’, he asked. ‘Because I’ve always wanted to kiss you too’. We went outside in the rain and French-kissed in slow motion, his tongue filling my mouth. Before we parted, he said something odd: ‘It never felt so good to be touched by a woman, not since I was a baby in my mother’s arms’. I never did find out what he meant and I still regret not sleeping with him that evening.
I’m going to bend the rules even further, so if you want to accept any of these awards, or all of them, or the meta-award of Awesomest Blog (picture below), please answer some questions about yourself and spread the love.
My nominees are the usual suspects, in no particular order. Apologies if I missed any of you. First, the ladies who inspire me and whose words of encouragement shaped this blog into what it is these days:
Stylish, beautiful, witty Susannah at A Thin Girl Dot Com. I would very much like to see the world through her eyes.
I’ll stop saying beautiful, but all of you ladies are gorgeous.
The lovable Cakes McCain at Pasta for One, whose misadventures in Italy make me laugh, make me cry, make me want to jump on a plane for emergency hugs and ice cream. I so wish I could hang out with you one day!
The incredibly resilient and perceptive Lady J at The Sexpeditions of Lady J. Her writing is insightful, poetic, seemingly effortless, and the Lady herself is fierce, magically keeping it all together in a world of chaos and constant challenges.
Kat at Snarky Snatch. Kat’s blog is possibly the funniest thing on WordPress, with its mix of late night musings and illustrations, but behind it there’s one of the sharpest minds of the blogosphere. It stings and bites.
Lulu at Liaisons with Lulu. Her erotic-exotic explorations would make the original Lulu proud. Her writing is elegant, like calligraphy, and her observations are sharp. How I wish I could go on the prowl with you, dear tigress!
Fatal at You Linger Like A Haunting Refrain, embarked on a journey of self-discovery, ecstasy and exploration through BDSM.
Hyacinth at A Dissolute Life. Her writing is honest, raw, and highly addictive. I wish I could move next door to you, dear Hy.
The gentlemen perverts I feel very close to, in spirit:
HH at My Sex Life With Lola, who writes eloquently about exploring ‘the mysteries of the female aspect of God’ with his lovely Lola.
Scot at The Dom Next Door, who writes exactly about what you’d imagine he does, but in surprisingly funny ways.
Theo Black at Theo Black, writing about his love and lust for lady L.
Bimodal at Only Partly Erotic, excoriating his soul, writing about infidelity in ways that will very likely blow your mind.
Some old friends and some new friends:
Amelia at Amelia’s Attic, a hopeless romantic, writing with levity about her life and loves.
Nimphobrainiac at My Life As A Psy-Eroticologist, self described as ‘one who engages in the erotic with enthusiasm and intellect’. The images on her blog are BEAUTIFUL.
Scott at S.W.May. His absurd little stories are priceless.
Sweet Mother at Sweet Mother Lover, who inspires me and makes me HAPPY.
(And then there’s John at penismightierthan.wordpress.com).